“You better know what you are doing!” shouted Sharon to her husband Bill, as they packed to go on their long awaited vacation. Bill and Sharon have been married for a very long time. They have two children, Bill Jr. and Mary. They spend a lot of time traveling as they are retired. They travel with the children most of the time but they planned this trip for just the two of them to get some quality time together. Sharon was excited as her primary love language is quality time.
Sharon has a problem with Bill. Sharon does not trust Bill’s judgement on making decisions, although he has come a long way with that flaw. They own two cars and Bill made a choice to drive the 2015 Toyota SUV instead of the 2021 Honda Accord. “The Toyota Suv has more space” shouted Bill back to Sharon. Sharon disagreed and being the wise but supportive wife, she alerted Bill that the Suv has a mechanical issue that caused it to break down the last time they drove it. But Bill was stubborn and decided not to take his wife’s advice and still decided to go with more space over arriving at their destination without problems. They headed out and within two hours into their journey the Toyota Suv broke down. Sharon was furiously disappointed and Bill wished he had made the right decision to drive the newer vehicle. The apology could not erase the bad decision. Bill chose self over marriage. Bill chose self over plans to have a great vacation.
Marriage relationships is about doing all to avoid a break down in the relationship so that both husband and wife are pleased. Yet quite often we refuse to do whatever it takes to avoid this break down. We tend to take each other for granted and think only about self. Selfishness and marriage are enemies. Selflessness and marriage are friends. Selfishness digs a hole that leads to divorce while selflessness takes you out of that hole and back to the surface of love and harmony. Here are two ways every married couple can avoid a break down in the marriage relationship…
Prioritize Spouse Over All Else
Friends, extended family and social media gadgets are great outlets but CANNOT be the outlet that takes the place of your husband or wife. A true friend will listen but will not fix your marriage problems. A mother or father will give advice but will not be there when the door of your home closes at night. A cell phone, computer or laptop will give good use for knowledge but will never be personal enough to give a intimate touch or a heart to heart talk to you or your spouse. Do not take your spouse for granted or it will lead to a break down in the relationship that can leave you wishing you did not go that route. Put your spouse first and all else, except your relationship with Christ, second.
Do A Regular Marriage Tune Up
Your wife or husband is not a mind reader. If I don’t ask Michelle how she is doing in the relationship I will never know how she is doing in the relationship. Just the same, if Michelle does not let me know how she is doing I cannot know her experience related to us. Assumption can be deceptive at times and must never be the way in marriage relationships. The word RELATE comes from RELATionship. Couples who regularly set quality time to talk without interruption are usually the ones who are able to enjoy each other. They know what the triggers are that cause break downs in their marriage and they are able to avoid them.
Michelle and I pray for every couple reading this article to be able to avoid a break down in their marriage relationship. We have gone routes in the past that caused that break down and have learned that intentionality is our best friend. Be intentional to apply these two ways to avoid unnecessary break down in your marriage. Huddle up and enjoy each other.
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